Questions to Ask a Friend to See if They Know You
Sometimes, you meet someone, and y'all just click. You lot feel like you've been besties your entire life and honestly tin can't believe there was a time when y'all didn't fifty-fifty know they existed. And then, there's those other relationships that take a little more work—i.e., how it feels like pulling teeth to larn anything about your brother-in-law. While you might never exist BFFs with your BIL, there is a trick you can use to become him to open up up a little more.
Terri Orbuch, PhD, author of 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Matrimony from Skilful to Great , says getting to know someone starts with the "breadth questions"—think: impersonal just important biographical info about a person's family, their career, and if they're single or married, for case. (Although if you're asking these q'southward of your BIL... yous should probably definitely know the answer to that last i.)
Tamekis Williams, LCSW, founder of Mission Dorothy Female Empowerment Services, adds that you want to ask open up-concluded questions that will allow the other person to elaborate, instead of questions that tin can be answered with a simple "yes" or "no."
After all, if you really want to get to know someone beyond the surface level, you've got to dig deeper. "Topics that get at the other person'southward inner earth—their thoughts, goals, and dreams—will strengthen and increase bonding between 2 people," Orbuch notes. "Sharing personal information strengthens any relationship, and deeper questions focus on that personal cocky-disclosure."
Btw, that's a two-way street, adds Williams. "When initially meeting someone, information technology is of import to be inviting and warm so that the other person can initially feel comfortable talking with you lot."
On that note, Williams suggests taking a careful approach in your questions, as you don't want the other person to experience like you're violating their privacy. Questions you should probably steer articulate of early: "Democrat or Republican?" "Do you own or rent?" and "What is your organized religion or spiritual conventionalities?".
There are other ways to featherbed pocket-size talk and learn more than in-depth info nearly the other person, says Williams. "You tin can get the answers [you're looking for] by sometimes answering those questions yourself while sharing well-nigh y'all. An instance would look like: 'I just moved to Georgia last year and found a beautiful community that I fell in love with and purchased a habitation. What near y'all, do you love where yous live?'"
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With a lilliputian patience, you'll become style closer with the person yous're just getting to know in no fourth dimension. Here are 200 non-dull questions to get yous started:
"Asking someone about their preferences helps you to understand who they are equally a person," says Rebecca Hendrix, a therapist in New York. The important thing here is to go deeper by asking follow-up questions. For example, "If yous notice out they like dogs, take it a bit deeper by asking them what they like most well-nigh their dog or their favorite breed," Hendrix explains.
"Commonalities often open the door for further conversation and, once that door is open, you can start a dialogue that allows the other person to elaborate and not give close-ended answers," Williams adds.
Another ideas:
ane. What's your favorite way to spend a day off?
2. What type of music are you into?
3. What was the best holiday you ever took and why?
4. Where'south the next place on your travel bucket listing and why?
v. What are your hobbies, and how did you get into them?
6. What was your favorite age growing up?
7. What was the last thing you read?
viii. Would you say you're more than of an extrovert or an introvert?
ix. What's your favorite water ice foam topping?
10. What was the concluding Idiot box show y'all binge-watched?
11. Are you into podcasts or do y'all only listen to music?
12. Practice you have a favorite vacation? Why or why non?
13. If you could simply swallow 1 food for the rest of your life, what would it exist?
14. Practise y'all like going to the movies or prefer watching at home?
15. What's your favorite sleeping position?
sixteen. What's your go-to guilty pleasance?
17. In the summer, would you rather become to the beach or get camping?
18. What'southward your favorite quote from a TV evidence/movie/book?
nineteen. How old were you when yous had your start glory shell, and who was it?
20. What'southward one affair that tin instantly make your day better?
21. Do you lot have any pet peeves?
22. Which meal is your favorite: breakfast, lunch, or dinner?
23. What song ever gets you out on the dance flooring?
24. When you were a child, did you consume the crusts on your sandwich or not?
25. What action instantly calms you?
26. Ideally, how would you spend your altogether?
27. What practise you do on your commute to/from work?
28. Are you a fan of musicals—why or why not?
29. What's your favorite season and why?
30. What's the best joke you've ever heard?
Questions can assistance deepen any relationship, just yous should never accept to ask these ones if you're in a good for you relationship:
31. What'due south the phone app you apply virtually?
32. Would you rather cook or order in?
33. Have your ever disliked something and so changed your mind?
34. What's your favorite board game?
35. How do yous take your java?
36 What'due south your most prized possession and why?
37. Is at that place any product that yous couldn't live without?
38. Do you sleep with a summit canvas? Why or why non?
39. If you could have whatsoever exotic animal equally a pet, which would it exist?
40. What would be the outset matter you'd practise if you won the lottery?
41. What's your favorite way to unwind?
42. How exercise you relish spending your alone time?
43. What'due south the best concert you've e'er been to?
44. Do you accept a favorite type of exercise?
45. What causes are y'all passionate about?
46. What's something you're excited about right now?
47. What'due south your favorite content genre (horror, sci-fi, rom-com, etc.)?
48. What's an essential function of your daily routine?
49. What'south the all-time gift you lot've always received?
fifty. What's the worst souvenir you've e'er received, and what did you do well-nigh it?
No affair how a person feels about his or her job, the fact is, tons of people spend a lot of fourth dimension and energy at work. To aid yous get to know someone better, "facilitate a conversation where you are left knowing how they feel about their career," Hendrix says.
Just prepare yourself to render that openness when they ask the same of you and your work life. "Initial conversations gear up the tone for if the person wants to continue to get to know you lot, so be gear up to answer some questions besides," Williams says.
Endeavour out these convo-starters:
51. If you lot could choose your own work schedule, would you?
52. Is there i task y'all'd never always do?
53. What'due south the first thing you lot do subsequently getting home from work?
54. Who or what inspires yous in your career?
55. How practise you arroyo taking time off from work?
56. What's something an outsider wouldn't know about your industry?
57. Practice you have a morning time routine at work? If so, what it'southward like?
58. What'due south your commute to piece of work like?
59. Are you able to work from dwelling, and if so, do you relish it?
60. Do yous go along with all your coworkers?
61. What's your favorite matter about your current job?
62. What annoys you virtually?
63. What's the career highlight you're most proud of?
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64. Practice yous think you'll stay in your current gig awhile? Why or why non?
65. What type of role do you want to take on after this one?
66. Are you more of a "piece of work to live" or a "live to piece of work" type of person?
67. Does your chore make you experience happy and fulfilled? Why or why not?
68. How would your ten-year-old self react to what you do now?
69. What do you remember about about your first job?
70. How old were you when y'all started working?
71. What'southward the worst chore you've ever had?
72. What originally got you interested in your current field of work?
73. Have you ever had a side hustle or considered having one?
74. What'southward your favorite part of the workday?
75. What'southward the best career decision y'all've ever made?
76. What's the worst career decision you've ever fabricated?
77. Do you consider yourself good at networking?
78. What career advice would you give to your younger cocky?
79. Practice you believe in having a "5-year plan"?
lxxx. How exercise you separate your piece of work life from your dwelling life?
81. When will you lot know you've "made information technology"?
82. Are you looking frontward to retiring, or exercise you plan to work as long as possible?
83. Have yous ever had "imposter syndrome"?
84. What practise you lot think nigh workaholics?
85. What qualities exercise you lot look for in a boss?
86. Do you accept a professional mentor? If not, do you want 1?
87. What energizes yous about your career?
88. Are you into after-work happy hours?
89. How do you motivate yourself in your career?
ninety. What'due south the best career advice you lot've e'er heard?
91. What'southward the worst career advice y'all've always received?
92. When you lot started your electric current job, what most surprised you?
93. How practice you lot pick yourself back up after making a fault at work?
94. How do you deal with work stress?
95. Do y'all have a piece of work bestie?
96. What's ane work-related thing you want to accomplish in the next year?
97. Who has had the biggest affect on your career pick?
98. What does your family unit think of your career?
99. What'south the best thing yous've learned in your current position?
100. If y'all could do it all again, would you pursue the same career? Why or why not?
A great manner to get to know someone on a more than personal level? Learn about the people they love. "Asking questions about close relationships tin can pb to stories, and sharing stories leads to connectedness and an experience of existence seen by i another," Hendrix explains. Try:
101. How much time do you spend with your family?
102. Who practise y'all nigh like spending fourth dimension with and why?
103. Which family member makes the best nutrient?
104. How has your opinion of your family changed over the years?
105. If you lot're close with your family, what'due south the hardest office about spending time away from them?
106. Exercise you lot wish you lot had a bigger family, or are you lot happy with its current size?
107. Which family member has had the greatest impact on you lot?
108. What does your family's last name mean? (Look it upwards if you don't know!)
109. Who's the best gift-giver in your family unit?
110. What's your favorite story about your grandparents?
111. Have you ever mapped out your family tree?
112. Were you shut with your family growing up?
113. How do yous define your family now?
114. What traits are nearly important to you in your family members?
115. Who in your family makes y'all feel the safest?
116. Do you lot desire a family of your ain?
117. Take you ever been to a family reunion?
118. If you could change your human relationship with a family fellow member, would you? If so, with whom?
119. What was it like growing up as the youngest/oldest/heart/just child?
120. Does your family unit ever accept trips together?
121. What's your favorite family retentivity?
122. What TV family most reminds you of your ain?
123. Do you always wish yous were raised differently?
124. What'southward the best slice of advice a family member has given you?
125. Do you lot wish y'all had more than siblings? If so, why?
126. Did you e'er hide annihilation from or lie to your parents?
127. If yous had a family unit business organization, what would information technology be?
128. Do you and your family have any nicknames for each other?
129. What's your favorite style to spend fourth dimension with your family unit?
130. How do y'all show your family unit yous beloved them?
131. What's your favorite family tradition?
132. What'due south the almost of import holiday you spend with your family unit and why?
133. Who in your family would you lot draw equally a "character"?
134. How do you feel about family events?
135. What's something your family unit would be surprised to learn about y'all?
136. Which family fellow member do yous confide in near?
137. How do you lot deal with arguments betwixt family unit members?
138. If you accept children, how practice yous want to raise them?
139. What'due south more than important: family unit or friends?
140. Do you take any friends yous would consider family unit?
141. Has your family e'er pressured you to human activity a certain way?
142. Did y'all e'er get to see your smashing-grandparents?
143. What personality traits do you share with your relatives?
144. What physical traits do you share with your relatives?
145. What stories did your family members tell you lot growing up?
146. How did your parents (and/or grandparents) come across?
147. What makes you lot proud of your family?
148. Who'south the newest member of your family?
149. What can e'er bring your family together?
"In learning nigh someone'southward values, you lot are learning about their owner's transmission," Hendrix explains. Fifty-fifty seemingly mundane questions can become at a person's values—like what'due south motivating them to do well on a presentation or what they await for in an S.O.
"By learning about someone's life philosophy, you lot're able to get at their true essence, how they live their life, and what drives their actions," Orbuch adds.
That said, yous tin can't just ask, "What are your values?". What you can inquire:
150. What practice you think makes someone a "skilful person"?
151. Do y'all believe in honey at first sight?
152. How practice you show kindness to others?
153. Do yous believe in soulmates? Why or why non?
154. What practice you wait for in a friendship?
155. How do your daily priorities reflect your overall values in life?
156. Practise you believe time you savor wasting is not wasted time?
157. What life lessons have you had to acquire the hard fashion?
158. Do yous believe what is meant for you will never miss you?
159. Have you e'er experienced true love, and how did you know?
160. What's a relationship deal breaker for you?
161. If you had only one sense (hearing, touch, sight, etc.), which would you want?
162. Practise y'all volunteer at all?
163. What makes you feel at peace?
164. What are y'all most proud of in the terminal year?
165. What makes you feel nigh accomplished?
166. Who do you adore most in the globe?
167. Would you lot rather brand more than money doing a chore you detest or less doing one you beloved?
168. Which of your personality traits are you near proud of?
169. What'due south the first matter y'all look for in a partner and/or friend?
170. How has your perspective on the world changed over time?
171. Do you lot live by any piece of advice or motto?
172. How can someone earn your trust?
173. How can someone lose your trust?
174. Would you rather someone be honest and hurt your feelings or lie to protect them?
175. If you could snap your fingers and instantly make the globe better, what would you exercise?
176. Practice yous believe in astrology? Why or why not?
177. Have y'all ever lost a friend? If and then, what happened?
178. If you lot could only teach one affair to your (hereafter) child, what would it be?
179. What's the scariest affair you've e'er washed, and why did you do information technology?
180. Do y'all believe in 2d chances?
181. Where do you get your news?
182. What is your biggest irrational fear?
183. Are yous active on social media, or exercise you prefer to be more individual?
184. What is your definition of success?
185. Are you an organ donor, and how did you lot come to that decision?
186. Do you believe you should do 1 matter a day that scares you?
187. What, if anything, practise you think happens afterwards decease?
189. What line should someone never cross with you lot?
190. How do you define beauty?
191. Exercise y'all believe in life on other planets?
192. How exercise you interact with someone who disagrees with you?
"These questions become at what the person is motivated by," says Orbuch. "What gives them the force to wake up every day and get going? What practice they dream and think about in their twenty-four hours?" When y'all acquire near someone's dreams, you share something more intimate. Jumpstart a deep conversation by asking this:
193. Exercise you think our dreams have subconscious meanings?
194. When you want to give up, what keeps you lot going?
195. Do you live past any words of wisdom?
196. What'south the get-go step you take in trying to attain a new goal?
197. How do you turn a "no" into a "yes"?
198. What do you do to overcome a personal setback?
199. Is it like shooting fish in a barrel for you to accept help in achieving your dreams?
200. If you lot could do anything, besides what you're doing now, what would you practise?
201. What do you regret not doing in the last year?
202. What'south on your bucket list?
203. If you had unlimited money to beginning your own business, what would information technology be?
204. If you lot found out today was your concluding solar day on Earth, what would you do?
205. If you could live anywhere in the globe, where would it exist?
206. If y'all could relive one moment in your life, which would it exist?
207. If you had the opportunity to be immortal, would you take it?
208. Which famous person in history would yous desire to spend the solar day with?
209. If you could time travel, when and where would yous get?
210. Do you think you lot'll likely accomplish all your dreams?
211. If you could magically get famous, would yous want to?
212. A genie gives you three wishes—what are they?
Sometimes the oddball questions allow you to learn the nearly interesting things most a person. "Unusual questions allow you to see the varied, unique, and special qualities of a person—their answers give y'all personal information almost what makes them tick," Orbuch says. "These questions as well typically get the other person to think exterior box and actually ponder something."
Just you all the same want to go on things PG, says Williams. "Exist careful with asking questions of a sexual nature besides early," she advises. Same goes for the unconventional-for-a-reason q'southward, a.thousand.a. anything related to some other person's finances, but specially questions nearly kid support, debt, and credit score.
Enquire these ~unconventional~ questions, and you'll definitely get some interesting (in a good way!) answers:
213. Do you believe in ghosts—why or why not? (Bonus question: If and then, are you afraid of ghosts?)
214. Practice y'all accept whatever special skills?
215. Are you double-jointed?
216. What's your game program in a zombie apocalypse?
217. Tin can you write in cursive?
218. If you lot could live in a pic, which one would information technology be and why?
219. What's your "dance similar nobody's watching" song?
220. Exercise yous sing in the shower?
221. Are you practiced at solving puzzles?
222. How many hours practice you get to the airport earlier a flight?
223. Tin you say your ABCs backwards?
224. If you lot come across a puddle on the ground, do you walk effectually it or over information technology?
225. If you could take a super power, what would it be?
226. If you could get dorsum to anytime in history, where would you go?
227. If you lot came dorsum in your next life equally an animal, what animal would yous be?
228. If yous got to name a new land, how would you decide what to phone call it?
229. What would be the title of your memoir?
230. Do you hit the snooze button or wake upwards immediately?
231. What's the beginning thing you do in the morning?
232. What's the last matter you lot practise at dark?
233. Do you believe in whatever conspiracy theories (no sentence)?
234. Do you retrieve iced coffee should only be consumed in the summertime or all year circular?
235. Would you rather be covered in fur or covered in scales?
236. What'southward your thought of a perfect appointment (yes, of the calendar year)?
237. What'south the most unusual place yous've fallen asleep?
238. At a party, where can someone find y'all?
239. Do you launder your legs in the shower?
240. Who would play you in the flick of your life?
241. When making a Atomic number 82&J sandwich, practice you lot put on the peanut butter or jelly get-go?
242. Do you have any allergies?
243. Do yous trust your ain retentivity? Why or why not?
244. Which fictional character do you lot relate to well-nigh?
245. What, if anything, would make yous walk out in the heart of a picture show?
246. When was the last time y'all cried and why?
247. What'due south your most controversial opinion about something mundane?
248. Do you "stan" whatever celebrities?
249. What's your go-to midnight snack?
250. What was your all-fourth dimension favorite Halloween costume?
251. What'south the weirdest thing you do when you're alone?
252. Do you take whatsoever recurring dreams?
253. What's the silliest statement you've ever been in?
254. What'south the worst argument you've always been in?
255. What's your opinion on mod art?
256. What'southward the nearly ridiculous outfit you've e'er worn?
257. If y'all could own a mythical creature (unicorn, phoenix, etc.), which 1 would you selection?
258. Would you rather accept your dishes or clothes be magically clean?
259. What'due south your favorite story about yourself?
260. If you could modify anything almost yourself, would you? If so, what and why?
"Anytime you reveal personal data to someone else, information technology increases intimacy between you lot and the other person," says Orbuch. And so allow downward your guard, and don't be afraid to inquire (and answer!) these deep questions.
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Source: https://www.womenshealthmag.com/life/a22500573/questions-to-ask-to-get-to-know-someone/
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